Wise Words to a Wayward Son

"And [Bathsheba] said unto [David], My lord, thou swarest by the LORD thy God unto thine handmaid, saying, Assuredly Solomon thy son shall reign after me, and he shall sit upon my throne."—1 Kings 1:17

Verse by verse Bible study in Proverbs 31

Minor prophecies are not confined to books written by those we call the "minor prophets." Many holy men and women of God were used by Jehovah to utter words of prophecy. Sometimes these prophecies are contained in a single verse of scripture, on other occasions they occupy an entire chapter. Sometimes the prophets address their words to a large group or even an entire nation; on other occasions their words are meant for an audience of one. In Proverbs 31, the prophecy is addressed to a particular person, the son of the prophetess.

Even though the individual to whom the prophecy was given has long since died, the principles delineated in the prophecy are timeless. They have numerous applications to many people at many different periods of time.

The Prophetess—Verse 1

The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

There has been much dispute as to the identity of this Lemuel. The oldest definition, and the one we prefer, is given in the Hebrew Talmud: "Solomon was called by six names: Solomon, Jedidiah, Koheleth, Son of Jakeh, Agur, and Lemuel" (Avoth d’Rab, Nathan c. 39). Both Strong’s Concordance and the Brown-Driver-Brigg’s Lexicon agree with this identification. If this is true, the author of this one chapter prophecy is Bathsheba.

The word translated "prophecy" in this verse would be better translated "burden" or "oracle." As an "oracle" it is to be understood as a message commissioned by God. As a "burden" it is a responsibility that weighs on the heart. A "prophecy," on the other hand, is usually associated with predictions of the future, though it can refer to any word from God. In this passage we have a warning of dangers that can affect the future.

Bathsheba appears to have been a caring mother. Although she had numerous children, her love seems to have been centered on Solomon, her second child by David. Their first child died as a chastisement of God for their sin of adultery. Solomon became to them the assurance of God’s continued acceptance despite their earlier sin. This was confirmed to them when Nathan, the prophet who had berated them for their adulterous relationship, sent a message after the birth of the second child, bestowing on him the name Jedidiah (2Sam. 12:25). This name signifies "beloved of God" and not only demonstrated the forgiveness of God for their shortcoming but also prefigured the words of Jehovah over his son, Jesus: "this is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased" (Matt. 3:17).

In the book of Proverbs, Solomon credits both his father and mother for their roles in his upbringing. "For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live" (Prov. 4:3, 4).

His mother, at the insistence of Nathan, preserved the kingship for Solomon when his step-brother Adonijah laid claim to it (1 Kings 1:11-30).

Preview of the Prophecy—Verses 2 and 3

What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

Not only does she address her words to Solomon as her son but specially as "son of my womb," an idiom referring to a firstborn. In fact Solomon was not the first born. We do not know if she had children by Uriah, her first husband, but we know that the first child she bore David died. In any case, he was now regarded as her firstborn, the one upon whom special attention would be focused. He was also the "son of my vows." The preceding child had been begotten outside of the marriage bonds. Solomon, as a child begotten within the marriage arrangements, could be looked upon with full dignity with no blight of illegitimacy on his reputation.

As an observant mother, Bathsheba notes the weaknesses of her son. This causes her to emphasize two specific warnings in her oracle: a weakness for the opposite sex and a fondness for "that which destroyeth kings," probably wine, as suggested in the succeeding context.

Use of Alcohol—Verses 4-7

It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

The first part of this counsel is easier to understand than the latter portions. Wine and strong drink, so often used at royal festive parties, is bad for a king to drink, not only because it perverts sound judgment but also because it lowers the dignity of the throne.

While it is true, as many commentators note, that strong drink was used to numb the senses of condemned prisoners, this does not appear to be the class being discussed in these verses.

The suggestion rather appears to be, not that it is recommended but that it is preferable, for those in hard circumstances to find some relief from their misery in the numbing effects of wine than it is for those in positions of power to do so, for their judgment affects the entire populace.

This verse more than any other in the chapter has led many to the conclusion that Lemuel was indeed a king of a surrounding nation and that the advice here is to be ignored. We are of a contrary opinion; once we begin finding a reason to ignore any portion of God’s Word we are setting a precedent for ignoring others. Therefore, we look to interpreting this verse in a comparative fashion rather than one of direct counsel and advice. "If one is going to drink wine, it should be the pauper who has reason to seek release from his poverty rather than the king who may be called upon at any time to offer sound judgment."

A King’s Role—Verses 8 and 9

Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

Strictly speaking, the admonition does not appear to be directed toward unbiased judgment. The poor and needy and those "appointed to destruction" are not always in the right. Nor are the wealthy always in the wrong. But the rich have always, even in Bible times, their advocates to plead their cases, while the poor are usually left to their own defenses. Thus the king’s role was to be an advocate for those who were without such. This is even the case today with the right of a defendant to a court-appointed attorney if he cannot afford one for himself.

While those "appointed to destruction" may seem to refer to those who are subject to the death sentence, it is noteworthy that Strong’s Concordance suggests that it may refer to orphans. The literal definition of the term would be "sons [or survivors] of destruction." Again the thought is stressed that everyone, particularly the disenfranchised, have the right to the same protection of the law as the wealthiest and most powerful of citizens.

A Virtuous Woman—Verses 10-31

The balance of the chapter is in the literary form of an acrostic poem. Each verse begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This device is often used in the Psalms (9, 10, 25, 34, 37, 111, 112, 119) and is also the structure for the whole of Lamentations. Its purpose appears to be two-fold: first, as a mnemonic aid for the Hebrew reader to better remember the passage; and second, in times of distress to force mental composure before setting one’s feeling to print.

Rightly foreseeing the problems Solomon would have as a result of disastrous marriages, his mother here outlines the qualities he should look for in a wife. Many of these are parallel to those possessed by the Shulamite in the love poem that we know as The Song of Solomon.

Condensing the passage, we note the following prominent features of this woman’s character:

1. She is a commendable wife and mother.2. She lives for her home and family.3. She is constantly industrious.4. She is self-disciplined and orderly.5. She is a sharp business woman.6. She has good, refined tastes.7. She manifests the grace of hospitality.8. She is charitable in time of need.9. She is spiritually-minded.

We proceed now to a more detailed examination of this section:

AS WIFE AND MOTHER: Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (vs. 10-12).

This comparison of virtue to rubies is a common one in scripture (Job 28:18; Prov. 3:15; 8:11; 20:15; Lam. 4:7). It is no better demonstrated than in the comparison by a man who had a wife named "Ruby" and a second wife he loved even more. The Hebrew word for "ruby" is paniym from which was taken the name of Elkanah’s first wife, Peninnah (1Sam. 1:4, 5). Yet it was Hannah whom he considered far more precious than "Ruby" with all her children, saying to her, "am I not better to thee than ten sons?" (v. 8).

He can trust her because her love is constant. It is unmixed affection. Her attitude toward him will be constant and unchanging, not varying in reaction to his moods toward her or reactionary to other external circumstances. Knowing that she will be a full partner in the marriage relationship, he will have no need to look elsewhere for those qualities she lacks. Her industriousness will make it unnecessary to embark on expeditions for spoil, for together they will make their living honestly through hard work.

Many have applied this entire poem to the church, the bride of Christ, the "greater than Solomon" (Matt. 12:42). Certainly it is just this trustworthiness that Jesus desires in his church. He seeks a bride that will not only do good to him when it is to her convenience but will seek to serve him in good times and bad.

INDUSTRIOUS: She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens (vs. 13-15).

Her zealous activities are shown in her adeptness both at the spinning wheel and in the fields. Not content with feeding her immediate family, she also feeds her servants well.

In the spiritual application, we see the bride of Christ arising industriously during earth’s night time of sin, before the Millennial morning wakens all of mankind, to make her "garments of righteousness" (Rev. 19:8; Psa. 45:14). She is willing to seek far and wide for thatwhich is greater than bread, "every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God" (Matt. 4:4). She recognizes her responsibility to not only feed herself and her family but also her "maidens," "the virgins her companions that follow her" (Psa. 45:14; Matt. 25:1-13).

WISE ADMINISTRATOR: She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard (v. 16).

Not only is the virtuous woman a diligent laborer, she is a business woman as well. Here again she shows her wisdom by not just finding a field and making the purchase but considering whether or not it is an advantageous purchase. Neither is her purchase for the purpose of mere accumulation of land but for a specific purpose, to plant a vineyard so that its fruitage may be used for beverage, medicine, and sacrifice. She does not resort to credit to make her purchase but buys it "with the fruit of her hands," using funds from her own resources.

In the New Testament parables of the talents and of the pounds there is a responsibility for the Christian to invest what the Lord has put at his disposal. These are not to be invested recklessly but wisely, so that they may bring increase to the amount invested. This requires consideration of the use of one’s time and talents.

ENERGETIC: She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff (vs. 17-19).

When tiredness overtakes her, she girds on extra strength. She insures the quality of her workmanship by spending the extra hours necessary to do her job right. The spiritual lesson is clear. Not only is the Christian to be a full-time Christian, from early morning to late at night, but he is to give great care to the quality of his Christianity. It is only too common for one to be a Christian in name only, content with the form of religion rather than its substance.

PHILANTHROPIC AND PROVIDENT: She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. (vs. 20-22).

A genuine care for the less fortunate is always urged upon the faithful. "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world" (James 1:27).

Her charity however does not impinge on her duty to her own household. This priority is well set forth in Galatians 6:10, "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith."

The scarlet clothing hardly seems relevant to the cold weather of winter. The thought seems to be that scarlet dye, being very expensive, was used for heavy woolen cloth only. Likewise tapestries were made of heavy material and suitable for warm bed coverings. Spiritually the thought is much deeper. The only garments that will adequately protect the Christian in winter times of trouble and distress are those dyed with the red of Christ’s ransom for all. The adequate covering will not be a plain quilt but one that has the rich tapestry of God’s plan woven deeply into it. The garments that will eternally last are the royal (purple) silk robes that will garb the world’s kings and priests.

HER HUSBAND’S WORK: Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land (v. 23).

Such a woman deserves an honorable husband and delights in his work and reputation. Here her husband is pictured as one of the elders of the city, sitting in the seat of judgment at the city gate. The husband of the bride of Christ is even yet more fortunate, for there is none higher and more worthy of respect than the Son of God.

HER REAL CLOTHING: She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. (vs. 24, 25).

In these verses the poet breaks out of his symbolic language and speaks clearly of the garments of this woman of virtue—they are the garments of "strength and honor." This is the clothing that enables one to "rejoice in the time to come." In a similar vein, the Apostle Peter speaks of wives being adorned with "the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price" (1 Peter 3:4).

A FAITHFUL MOTHER: She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her (vs. 26-28).

Great wisdom is required to "train up a child in the way he should go," so that "whenhe is old, he will not depart from it" (Prov. 22:6). Rules and laws must be laid down, but they must be laid down in kindness and love. As the Apostle Paul counsels fathers in Colossians 3:21, "provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." (See also Eph. 6:4).

The wise parent who can discern and walk the narrow line between strictness and love will find both a child and a spouse that will express their appreciation. No greater opportunity faces any Christian parent than that of nurturing their children in the admonitions of the Lord. The apostle expresses it well in 3 John 4, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth."

HER REWARD: Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates (vs. 29-31).

Not merely reputation, but especially the character developed by the virtuous woman will be her reward. "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain." Reputation is accorded when one’s ways please another. Yet it is fickle, for when the other person is not gratified, they quickly turn against the one they so recently praised. Jesus made himself of "no repute" (Phil. 2:7). His followers should be willing to do the same.

Beauty, whether of face or figure, is transient; "beauty is only skin deep." Character lasts forever. Character is the treasure the Christian is to "lay up in heaven" (Matt. 6:19, 20).

Ultimately it is not what another thinks, but it will be "her own works" that will "praise her in the gates." No sermon we give, no words we speak, can be nearly as effective as the life we live. Remember the words of the Master, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (Matt. 5:16).

May the virtues of the virtuous woman be the virtues that each of us strive to gain and apply in our individual lives.