Simon Peter

Healing a Guilty Conscience

Lovest thou me more than these?—John 21:15

Tom Ruggirello

The initial reaction to the death of Jesus brought a heart wrenching pain to all his disciples and loved ones. Each had special memories of the Lord and treasured visions of his life. Though he had told them on a number of occasions of his impending death, they seemed incapable of accepting such a prediction.

When Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was hailed by the people as king, the thoughts of his death were far from the disciples’ minds. However, when just hours later, Jesus hung on the Roman cross, his followers were devastated. Their long hoped-for Messiah was cut off in the prime of life. Rather than experiencing the joys of a glorious kingdom, the disciples had to reconcile themselves to the reality of their murdered king. Their sorrow, mixed with confusion, resulted in a total lack of direction for the fledgling Christian movement.

Of all those who grieved over the crucifixion, Simon Peter had more complex emotions to deal with. Though all the others had forsaken Jesus and fled when he was arrested in Gethsemane (Matthew 26:56), only Peter verbally denied that he knew Jesus. It was a scene that would be imprinted on Peter’s memory forever. After the arrest of Jesus, Peter "followed afar off" and after going into the court of the High Priest’s palace he sat with the servants and kept warm by the fire. His intent was to remain anonymous, to quietly observe what was happening to Jesus. He did not want to be pulled before the scrutiny of his enemies so he persisted in his denial of knowing the Master. With each denial the guilt mounted. When the cock crew, the words of Jesus’ warning came crashing back (Matthew 26:34). In all the excitement and suspense he had forgotten the warning that had been given to him just hours earlier, that he would deny Jesus.

Bitter Weeping

It was then that Peter "went out and wept bitterly" (Matthew 26:75). Vine’s dictionary explains that the word "bitterly" is used of the "poignant grief of Peter’s weeping for his denial of Christ." His fear of being identified as a disciple made him do what he swore he would never do. He had assured the Master that he would die with him before denying him (Matthew 26:35). Yet the reality of life became so different than the spoken promise. It is a lesson of the power that fear can have on the human heart. When fear takes hold, even one’s strongest commitments can be compromised.

When news came that the murder of Jesus had been accomplished, Peter’s sense of betrayal was complete. He may have asked himself what might have been had he stood with Jesus. Could he have prevented his death? Might he have been able to avert the evil of the Pharisees? If nothing else, he could have given himself as a martyr with the Lord rather than abandoning him to the shame of dying asa common criminal. Certainly the crucifixion brought more than grief to Peter. He also would bare the burden of a guilty conscience.

After the cross we can only imagine how he must have felt during the time that his Lord and Master laid in the tomb. Who could comprehend the shame he must have felt? If Jesus had not specifically searched him out to restore his spirit, Peter may have been lost to the Christian world. In this experience we see a wonderful glimpse of the Lord’s mercy and compassion for the inherent weaknesses of his followers. In his dealings with Peter we see that he reads the intent of the heart; when the intent is good, the actions can be forgiven.

Peter Singled Out

In the Garden Tomb, after the resurrection of Jesus, the angel of the Lord appeared to Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome (Mark 16:1). Seeing the great stone rolled away from the tomb they entered and saw the angel of the Lord sitting where Jesus had laid, and they were frightened. The angel then said those wonderful words, "He is risen, he is not here."

The angel instructed the women to go and tell the disciples and Peter (Mark 16:7). It is interesting that the angel mentions Peter by name. One commentary makes this observation about that detail:

"This second gospel, being drawn up—as all the earliest tradition states—under the eye of Peter, or from materials chiefly furnished by him, there is something deeply affecting in the preservation of this little clause by Mark alone, and in the clause itself, which it is impossible not to connect with the cloud under which Peter lay in the eyes of the eleven, not to say in his own also . . . But such wounds are not easily healed; and this was the first of a series of medicinal touches."—Jamison, Faussett and Brown, page 213.

It appears that the angel may have singled out this one apostle because he needed individual attention. It was something that only the resurrected Lord could do for he was the one that Peter had denied. In Luke 24:34 (and confirmed in 1 Corinthians 15:5) there is another statement that again singles out Peter. When the two disciples who had traveled the road to Emmaus rushed back to Jerusalem to share the news that Jesus had appeared to them, they met with unexpected excitement among the Jerusalem brethren. The eleven apostles and those that were with them said with great joy that indeed the Lord had been raised, "and has appeared unto Simon." It was on the same day that Jesus had appeared to the women in the early morning that he made a special appearance to Simon Peter. The reason for this private encounter is open to uncertainty since we are not told what was said. It is likely that Jesus was continuing his "medicinal touch" to the heart of Peter. He needed to lift the guilt Peter carried. He needed to make Peter a productive minister of the gospel, and to the brethren. This first encounter was to prepare him for more detailed instruction later.

"Lovest Thou Me"

This leads finally to the more explicit work of Jesus in restoring the guilt-laden Peter. The account is given in John 21. It appears that Peter was still uncertain regarding his relationship with Jesus. The disciples had by this time left Jerusalem and returned to Galilee. It was Peter who stated that he intended to return to his fishing business (John 21:3). Not knowing what else to do, those with him followed and worked with Peter as they fished the waters of Galilee. They worked all night and caught nothing. Jesus stood on the shore and called out asking if they had anything to eat. After their negative reply, Jesus instructed them to cast their net on the other side of the boat. This action brought such a catch of fish that they were hardly able to draw in the net. It wasthe young apostle John who recognized the Lord. When he proclaimed it to the others Peter drew a robe around himself and jumped into the water, swimming towards his beloved Lord.

When the disciples landed they saw Jesus by a fire with some fish laid on the coals. Jesus instructed Peter to bring some fish from their own nets, to which Peter complied. Jesus then invited them to eat breakfast. No one needed to ask who their host was, for it was obvious to them that this was the Lord. After they had eaten Jesus turned his attention to Peter, addressing him by his common name, "Simon, son of Jonas." Had not Jesus changed his name to Peter? Why would he now call him Simon? Possibly he was reflecting Peter’s own view of himself. In his own mind how could he continue to be Petros, "the rock," after his cowardly denial? And so Jesus addressed him as his old self, before his faith had distinguished him from the other disciples.

Now three simple questions followed from Jesus. "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these?" To what was Jesus asking Simon to compare his love? There appear only two possibilities. First, he may have been referring to the other disciples as the object of comparison. If that is the case, then he was likely alluding to Peter’s claim that though all others would deny him, he would not. And so Jesus’ question would have meant, "Do you really love me more than the others, as you once claimed?" But if this was the reference, then Jesus would have been merely mocking Peter’s earlier words, and it would have served no purpose.

More likely Jesus gestured toward the catch of fish on the shore and from which they had just eaten as he referred to the secular work to which Simon had returned. Jesus’ intent was to restore Simon back to the office of an apostle. The choice that Jesus was presenting to Simon was between feeding himself or feeding others. Because there was still the obstacle of Peter’s guilty conscience, three questions, almost identical in nature, were put to him. These three may have been intended to counteract the three denials of Peter. He had denied him three times. Now Jesus gave him the opportunity to confess his love three times.

The first two times when Jesus asked, "lovest thou me more than these," he used the Greek word agapeo, which signifies the highest form of love. It is a love where there is no self interest, only a desire for the highest welfare of the other person. Simon’s guilty conscience may have prevented him from asserting this type of love since his previous actions would not indicate agapeo love. And so when Simon answered that he did love him, he used the familiar phileo to describe his love for Jesus. There was one thing that Peter was certain of. He knew in his heart that he cherished Jesus with great affection. He could honestly answer that his love was a strong brotherly love.

But Jesus persisted because he wanted to show Peter that he would yet have the opportunity of displaying agapeo love. In John 21:18 Jesus continued their discussion by telling Peter that some day he would die a martyr for the cause of Christ. Would such news strike terror into the heart of Peter? Probably not. More than likely these words brought comfort to his guilty heart. He would yet have the privilege of dying with his Lord, and of truly expressing his agapeo love for him. He could now stand once again as "The Rock" who professed faith in Jesus as the world’s Savior. The remainder of his life was spent fulfilling the commission Jesus gave to him there on the shores of Galilee, that of feeding and caring for the flock of Christ.

Healing the Guilty Conscience

What a tremendous lesson we see of how the Lord deals with the shortcomings of his children. He reads their hearts. He knows their inherent weaknesses, and he restores them with compassion and tenderness when they are downtrodden. The importance of displaying this process through one of the chief apostles cannot be overlooked.

This experience of denial and restoration was to change Peter forever. He could never be the same self-confident man that he had been. These early days of his Christian walk were followed by a courage and commitment that flowed from confidence in the Lord. In Acts the fourth chapter, after healing a man that was lame from birth, he and the apostle John were brought before the great Sanhedrin. This was the very body of men that Peter had so feared while cowering in the courtyard of the High Priest. This time his attitude was far different. What an example of "lesson learned" we see there. He boldly spoke with authority that Jesus had been raised from the dead, and that his own power of healing the lame man had come from Jesus himself (Acts 4:10). His courage in proclaiming that salvation can come only through Jesus Christ was met with awe as even their enemies took note that these men "had been with Jesus."

After being threatened and commanded by the Jewish council to stop preaching in the name of Jesus, Peter and John spoke the words that would inspire many a faithful follower of Christ. "Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye. For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard" (Acts 4:19,20).

In Peter’s experience of sin and restoration we see a microcosm of the Christian life. The question is not whether we as Christians will sin. That is a foregone conclusion. We all continue to fight our inherited Adamic weaknesses. The strength of our stand as Christians lies in our ability to believe that through Jesus our sins can be forgiven, and through his supervision of our lives even our sins can be made great object lessons for growth and development. As we look back upon the life of Simon Peter we can learn for ourselves that Jesus is stronger than our fears and that he often asks us the same questions he asked Peter: "Lovest thou me more than these?" When we can say "yes" with complete conviction, the Lord can work his miracles. "Choose ye this day whom ye will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!" (Joshua. 24:15).