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The Christian Child The Commandment With Promise Honor
thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
Carl Hagensick While the child of Christian parents cannot be styled “a Christian child” in the sense that he has not yet reached sufficient age to make a personal commitment to God, he nevertheless has a special standing with the Creator: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy” (1 Corinthians 7:14). In spite of their age and immaturity they still have responsibilities. The apostle Paul reiterates one of these under the Mosaic law: “Honour thy father and thy mother.” This is the only commandment with a specific promise appended: “That thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). This promise of long days was really conditioned upon keeping all the judgments (Leviticus 18:5), a condition which they explicitly accepted in Exodus 24:3. Yet, the promise is particularly attached to this fifth commandment. God’s commands were not just for those gathered at the foot of Mt. Sinai; they were perpetual precepts upon which the continuation of life depended. It was the responsibility of parents to pass these edicts to the next generation. It was the responsibility of the children to give heed to them so that they could obey them and pass them on to their descendants. Thus the placement of this commandment is appropriate for it is a bridge between the first four which relate to obligations to God and the last five showing man’s duty toward his fellow. This edict gives the God-ordained channel for the perpetuation of his law to all time. Parents’ Responsibility The apostle recognizes the frail nature of children’s emotions and emphasizes that a father is not to be a dictator of these tenets thus running a risk of provoking them to wrath. He is to lovingly and kindly instruct them in the ways of righteousness, nurturing them as much by example as by precept. “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck” (Proverbs 1:7-9). Recognizing the authority of God is the source of all wisdom. The Creator has the right to make the rules for the created. It is the responsibility of parents to pass these instructions along, and of the child to receive these instructions and retain them, not forsaking their wisdom. Such attentiveness to parental counsel is likened to an ornament, or tiara, and a golden necklace, for these instructions, when followed, produce truly noble characters. It was nobility that was so arrayed in adorning jewels. Peter describes the submissive wife in similar terms: “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:3,4). Paul agrees: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works” (1 Timothy 2:9,10). Timothy One biblical example of an obedient Christian son is Timothy, one who was so dear to Paul that he counted him as a son (1 Timothy 1:18). It is amazing that at the early date when the apostle writes of him, he was already a third-generation Christian: “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also” (2 Timothy 1:5). His knowledge of the Scriptures had been taught to him from the early days of his life: “From a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15). This is all the more surprising since his father was neither Jewish nor Christian, but Greek (Acts 16:1). This speaks volumes of the faithfulness of both Eunice and Lois for they lived in a male-dominated society, yet they had sufficient conviction of their beliefs to make the effort to pass them on to Timothy. It is most likely that he had been taught the sacred writings originally from a Jewish perspective, but that knowledge stood him in good stead as he came to see the beauty of the Christian gospel. After all, the only Bible to instruct the early church was the Old Testament. Discipline Strict obedience was expected of children under the Mosaic law and frequent admonitions are given to remind the parents of this responsibility: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24). “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15). “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Proverbs 29:15). Note that these reminders of discipline are from Solomon, a son who himself needed counsel and correction. It is probable that the first nine chapters and the last chapter of Proverbs were written by Solomon’s mother, Bathsheba, to give parental guidance to an often wayward son. In particular the thirty-first chapter was given as a declaration “that his mother taught him” (Proverbs 31:1); it advises the king to beware of two weaknesses which plagued him—alcoholism (verses 4-7) and the need to be wise in selecting a wife (verses 10-31). A child, in turn, was to heed this discipline. By submitting to parental authority and the chastening rod, a child would avoid the much harsher lessons of experience. The child who strongly asserts his own rights will reap what he sows and often must face the more difficult task of reformation (Galatians 6:7). One of the causes of the troublous times which mark the close of both the Jewish and Gospel ages is the disobedience of children to parents (Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2). Obedience The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, speaking of the Hebrew and Greek words translated “obedience,” says: “In its simpler Old Testament meaning the word signifies ‘to hear,’ ‘to listen.’ It carries with it, however, the ethical significance of hearing with reverence and obedient assent. In the New Testament a different origin is suggestive of ‘hearing under’ or of subordinating one’s self to the person or thing heard, hence, ‘obey.’ There is another New Testament usage, however, indicating persuasion.” Each of these words suggests a different component to the concept of obedience.
Honoring father and mother implies respect, not just obedience. Even when the actions of a parent are unjust or rude, the office of the parent demands a deferential attitude. As the apostle Paul respected the office of an unjust high priest (Acts 23:5), so a child who feels abused should respect the position of the parent. This does not mean that actual physical abuse should be tolerated; fathers and mothers demand respect simply because they occupy the parental role. The respect a child owes a parent should extend to all older people. This is the biblical admonition: “Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:32). This is particularly true of those in authority, such as school teachers, those in authority in the church, and the civil powers. Paul writes: “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13:17). Helpfulness Honoring father and mother also implies a willingness to be of help to them. Not only does such help come in the form of performing assigned chores, but more especially in seeking out those things that need to be done when unassigned, then willingly and even cheerfully doing them. As Jesus delighted to do his father’s will (Psalm 40:8), so that same spirit should pervade all sons and daughters. Helpfulness should proceed from a willing mind (see 2 Corinthians 8:12). A family is a team and a team functions best when every member does more than one’s share. The principle that “if any would not work, neither should he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10), while perhaps not words to be applied literally in family situations, is a good guiding concept. This spirit of helpfulness, learned in early life, should continue in later years. A child should always be cognizant of the needs of others, particularly those of his family. King David provides a good example of this care for his parents. When hiding from Saul in the cave of Adullam, he sought protection for his ailing parents from the king of Moab: “David went thence to Mizpeh of Moab: and he said unto the king of Moab, Let my father and my mother, I pray thee, come forth, and be with you, till I know what God will do for me. And he brought them before the king of Moab: and they dwelt with him all the while that David was in the hold” (1 Samuel 22:3,4). Similarly Jesus, when on the cross, arranged for the care of his mother by his close friend and disciple, the apostle John (John 19:26). It is thus, through the application of these principles of honor, respect, and obedience that a Christian child can best learn the precepts of truth which will not only fit him for his adult years, but be passed to future generations. Then will be realized the attendant promise: “That it be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth”—yea, even to eternity. |