It may seem odd that a Christian journal would have so much to say on the subject of depression. After all, should not those who believe that Jesus Christ has purchased eternal salvation for them be among the most joyous people in the world? Should not an upbeat attitude and frame of mind characterize those who believe that “If God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31).

Yes, Christians should be joyous. But like all “shoulds,” such is not always the case. As members of the human race, those who accept Jesus Christ as their Redeemer are subject to the same experiences as those who have not: “Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people” (1 Corinthians 10:13, Today’s English Version).

Certainly sadness or sad emotions are not necessarily bad. Solomon tells us, “Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better” (Ecclesiastes 7:3). In other words, being sad can have the effect of helping us focus and reflect on a difficult experience we have had and, as a result, see new lessons that will help us in future experiences, improve the condition of the “heart,” and help draw us closer to God and to others around us. This is how Today’s English Version renders the passage: “Sorrow is better than laughter; it may sadden your face, but it sharpens your understanding.” Thus, sadness, even deep sadness, is not necessarily something to avoid or fear; it can help us become better, more sympathetic, more understanding; it can make us wiser.

However, sadness that continues over a long period of time and does not seem to be connected to an identified sad event or circumstance can be an indicator of the condition known as depression. This type of sadness does not make us into better people. Instead it is debilitating, pulling us into a downcast frame of mind characterized by feelings of hopelessness, feelings of worthlessness, withdrawal from interactions with others, and paralysis of action. We may not be able to initiate any positive actions, sometimes even daily personal routines. Depression is a condition that does not build us up; it strips life of any joy or satisfaction, and in its worst manifestation (suicide) can deprive us of life itself.

Christians who suffer from depression often carry an additional burden of guilt. With the passage of time, they may begin to question their standing and relationship with the Lord, concluding that even God has abandoned them because of the lack of joy in their lives. However, the Scriptures indicate that God has a purpose in allowing his people to experience problems that are common to the world. We are to develop sympathy toward others and be prepared through personal experience to assist in cleansing sin and sickness from the world during Christ’s Messianic kingdom. One of the most beautiful passages describing this was written by the apostle Paul: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3,4, NIV).

Nevertheless, we who have come to appreciate deeply the perfection of God, his standards of righteousness, and his ultimate plan for mankind’s welfare are prone to see a comparatively imperfect image whenever we look into a mirror. It may lead to self-condemnation, to a deep sense of thinking we are unworthy of God’s care and attention.

The apostle John addressed those who are afflicted by this tendency to compare themselves to God’s standards and the example of Christ, and then render a harsh judgment upon themselves: “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God” (1 John 3:18-21, NIV). Through either personal experience or observation of fellow Christians, John understood that some have hearts or consciences prone to self-condemnation. John assures us that God is “greater” or more compassionate toward us than our own assessment, and he knows our true value and worth as one of his children. The apostle Paul was mindful of this judgmental perspective when he said: “I judge not mine own self … he that judgeth me is the Lord” (1 Corinthians 4:3,4, ASV).

One of Satan’s greatest ploys is to keep us feeling guilty over our sins and shortcomings so we spiral downward in our emotions and reach a point where we feel unworthy not only of God’s love, but also of love from anyone else. The bottom is reached when we even hate ourselves.

Renewing Our Thinking Patterns

The patterns of thinking that lead to feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness, and depression are part of the old, fallen, human nature. It is because every one of us has these unsound patterns of thinking to one extent or another that the apostle Paul wrote: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly [or more lowly] than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober [sound] judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you” (Romans 12:2,3, NIV).

False, Unsound Thinking Patterns

Professionals identify a number of unsound thinking patterns that lead to judgment about others or ourselves that may produce depression. Here are a few of them:

All-or-Nothing Thinking—This is the tendency to evaluate personal qualities or interpret events in extreme black-or-white terms. All-or-nothing thinking forms the basis for perfectionism. It causes us to fear any mistake or imperfection; we will then see ourselves as complete failures, and we will feel inadequate and worthless. This way of evaluating things is unrealistic because life is rarely all one way or the other. For example, no one is absolutely brilliant or totally stupid.

Example: Because of timidity, you fail to speak up in a situation where you believe a Christian viewpoint should be expressed. You later say to yourself, “I am a total failure as a Christian.” Is this true? No. You have spoken at other times, and you have many other positive traits of Christian character and behavior.

Over-generalization—Some conclude that an unpleasant thing that happened once will occur over and over again. The pain of rejection is generated almost entirely from over-generalization. Usually words like “never” or “always” occur in over-generalizations. When we use them or hear them, be careful.

Example: You learn that Bro. and Sr. Hospitality have invited several to their home for dinner and fellowship next Sunday evening. Disappointed that you have not been invited, you conclude, “Nobody likes me. I never get invited to other people’s homes.” Depression sets in. Are these statements true? Not likely.

Discounting the Positive—This is the tendency to transform neutral or even positive experiences into negative ones. We do not just ignore positive experiences; we cleverly and swiftly turn them into the opposite. An everyday example of this is the way most of us handle compliments. We have been conditioned to automatically tell ourselves, “They are just being nice.” With one swift thought we mentally discount the compliment. Discounting the positive is a destructive pattern of thinking: we search like scientists to find evidence to prove the hypothesis that we are second-rate, inferior. Whenever we have an experience that we interpret as negative, we dwell on it and conclude, “That proves what I’ve known about myself all along.” Whenever we interpret an experience as positive, we tell ourselves, “That was a fluke and doesn’t count.” The price we pay for this pattern of thinking is intense misery and an inability to appreciate the good things that happen, the good in ourselves, and the good in others. When a positive experience occurs and we start to discount it, we need to ask ourselves, “Is that true?” Truth affirms the positive things that we have done and the positive from God’s point of view.

Jumping to Conclusions—We arbitrarily jump to a negative conclusion that is not justified by the facts of the situation.

Example: Your spouse is unresponsive to your attempts at conversation. Your heart sinks because of the way you interpret the silence: “He/she must be mad at me for something I did or didn’t do.” Is this true? Even in the best of relationships this is sometimes true, but you may be unaware that your spouse had a demoralizing experience at work and is too upset to talk about it now.

“Should” Statements—We try to motivate ourselves by saying, “I should do this.” Or we put ourselves down by saying, “I should have done that.” These statements reflect the mental expectations we have set for ourselves. But are these expectations good? Often they are not because they are based more in idealism than reality. “Should” statements generate a lot of emotional turmoil in our daily lives because we keep expecting ourselves to live up to high ideals. When the reality of our own behavior falls short of our expectations, our “shoulds” and “should nots” create self-loathing, shame, and excessive guilt. However, in the real world in which we live, we rarely achieve our ideals on a consistent basis. Unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others will lead us to constant disappointment and could lead us into depression. We will either have to change our expectations to approximate reality (truth), or always feel let down by human behavior.

Example: “I should be on time for the meeting.” Is this true? Not if you consistently leave late for the meeting.

Labeling and Mislabeling—Personal labeling means creating a completely negative image based on our errors or those of another person. It is an extreme form of generalization. There is a good chance we are involved in personal labeling whenever we describe our mistakes with sentences beginning with “I am a …”, or describe others’ mistakes with sentences beginning with “He/she is a …” Labeling ourselves or others is not only self-defeating or disrespectful, it is irrational because we are making untrue statements about ourselves or others. We and others cannot be equated with any one thing we/they do. When we label ourselves or others based on perceived inadequacies, we create a lot of personal pain or hostility toward others. In mislabeling, we often use words that are inaccurate, untrue, and emotionally loaded.

Examples: “She reads The Ecumenical Digest.” “He has a different thought on the covenants.”

Working to renew our minds and to eliminate these unsound, negative thinking patterns will help us find more joy in life, especially the Christian life. We will discover an ability to more deeply appreciate ourselves and others around us, especially our spiritual family. It really is a matter of attitude.

Truth Demolishes Depression

Those disposed toward telling themselves “I am not worthy” might do well to train a voice within them to automatically talk back by saying, “Of course you’re not worthy [based on your own merit], but Christ made you worthy through his sacrifice! He has covered your unworthiness with his righteousness.” Moreover, because Christ has redeemed you and you have given your heart to him, the truth of the matter is that you are a special treasure to God. Reminding yourself of this is not pride; it is fact.

The feeling of unworthiness can manifest itself as a consuming fear, a fear that we are unlovable, a fear of doing anything lest we fall short of the expectations of God or others. A fearful mental paralysis can overcome us.

“ ‘The spirit of fear’ is … simply a mental influence natural to every fallen human being of humble mind. It is begotten of the realization of personal imperfection and unworthiness of divine favors. The antidote for this spirit of fear is the holy spirit of Truth, and its instructions accepted and held in full assurance of faith. The Spirit of Truth tells us that there were good reasons for our entertainment of the spirit of fear; but that those reasons no longer exist since we have come into Christ as new creatures. It points us away from our unintentional weakness to the great Atonement accomplished by our Lord Jesus.”—Studies in the Scriptures, vol. 5, pp. 196, 197.

The apostle Paul counsels us to always speak truthfully: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (Ephesians 4:25, NIV). Surely in emphasizing the importance of speaking truthfully to others, Paul did not embrace a lesser standard in regard to messages we speak to ourselves. He wrote: “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true … think on these things” (Philippians 4:8). We need to keep a diligent watch on ourselves to ensure that the contemplations of our hearts and minds are based upon what is true and what is real.

The power of truth smashes the subtle seductions of unsound thinking; it eliminates the maze of thinking that leads to depression. Whenever we feel unworthy, unlovable, hopeless, etc., we should ask ourselves, “What do I know that is true, really true?” Focusing on those things will often lift the clouds from our hearts and minds.

Help from Others

It would oversimplify the subject of treating depression to suggest that it is easily overcome by keenly focusing on the truth of every situation. In most cases, those who are suffering from depression need to seek the assistance of someone they can trust to help them sort out the realities with which they are struggling.

Sometimes a close friend or a pastor/elder can fill this role. Another good choice is a doctor or counselor trained to help the afflicted “climb out” of their depression. Such experts may be the best choice for those reticent about revealing their depression to someone they know. A trained professional can often provide the mental tools, and perhaps medication, that will enable the suffering ones to relieve their depression.

Helping Ourselves

There are things we can do that can help. One of the most powerful things we can do is accept the forgiveness God has offered us through his son, and then forgive ourselves for not always being the kind of person we would like to be. Accepting God’s forgiveness without forgiving ourselves indicates we are looking at forgiveness as a doctrine, a theological concept, a belief, but that it is not really penetrating our heart to affect how we view ourselves. Releasing the load of guilt we feel over past sins or present inadequacies is important to overcoming depression: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

We also need to forgive others if we are carrying a load of anger or resentment toward those who have offended us. If we have not forgiven them, it may be likely we are engaging in unsound thinking regarding them, like labeling and mislabeling: “Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you” (Colossians 3:13, TEV).

Other important things we can do include meeting with fellow Christians. There is a strong tendency among those who are depressed to withdraw from relationships. If you are depressed, resist the desire to withdraw with all the strength within you; you need the encouragement that comes through Christian fellowship: “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25, NIV).

We must be especially careful to not withdraw from our relationship with the heavenly Father through prayer. There is no being in the universe more approachable, more willing to hear the depths of our experiences than Jehovah.

Coping with a Family Member Who Is Depressed

Coping with personal depression can be an overwhelming experience. Coping with depression in a spouse or another family member can be all-consuming. One must carry not only one’s personal load of emotions, but also give huge amounts of emotional support to the depressed person and the family. If the depression manifests itself through withdrawal from relationships, one may have to bear the experience of emotional abandonment. If the depression manifests itself through mental paralysis, jobs and income may be lost.

Do not try to manage deep depression by yourself. Try to get the depressed person some professional help. Do not let the “stigma” of a mental health diagnosis within your family deter you from this. Above all, seek a source of support for yourself in the experience, either from a professional counselor or another family member or friend that can provide the support you need.